Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize