And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
