my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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