He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
