The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he fucked my hip out of place.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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