I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize