long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
And the cops told us we were all naked.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
