There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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