You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
