If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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