dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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