I am puke
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
