It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
