You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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