brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
