She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
