so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
