The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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