Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
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Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
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I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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