How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
