but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
