What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just found a bag of teeth...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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