sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
