Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
