Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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