I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
