atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
