I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
