I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
