I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
