i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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