Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You were trust falling into bushes
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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