Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
