I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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