Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
