I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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