Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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