So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
