I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This is my gift to your gina
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
