my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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