Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She needs sedatives and a leash
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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