.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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