.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
