I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
