i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize