New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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