She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just high enough for therapy.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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