So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
