No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
