Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
