I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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