its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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