I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
