Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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