what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
