it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
