All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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