That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize