You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Congratulations! We have a period
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