Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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