Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm at about main and main street
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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