I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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