I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
