What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
