what if every blade of grass was a penis?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
