I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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