there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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