sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
