Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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